Today was an eye opening day as to what the youth of today is reading.
One of my students expressed their love of Christian Grey (Yes I'm a lecturer but don't be too concerned I'm actually one of the normal ones..... now you have my permission to be concerned).
Now this student is 17 and being single I have obviously read the book and was immediately appalled by the fact that someone so young could have read a book that features what we can effectively call a sex dungeon.
Now I have nothing against Ms James she has obviously done very well although it seems quite amusing to me that a book where the main character is an editor Ms James' was definitely dropping the ball (I'm pretty sure there's a joke in there somewhere). The book panders to the idealism of every girls love of a bad boy gone good. The truth is that Christian Grey is seriously fucked up and the likelihood that he would make this miraculous turn around is about as likely as me being able to go through a whole day without accidentally insulting someone. Honest they are accidents.
The bigger concern with this book however is that men will start reading it. Have you seen how many times they have sex in that book. I'm not being funny but she must be itching like a obese woman's fat folds when the ants make it in. There's no way you can go through all that and not have your vagina screaming that the G-spot was tucked away for a reason. Don't get me wrong I love sex as much as the next girl but NOT as much as the next man. Men think about sex on average 62 times a day for a period of around 23 minutes which basically means they're always thinking about it. Although I figure it's not their fault, mainly because they are the side effect of sex. Now I don't mean that side effect of parental sex but sex in general; sperm. You see when men don't use sperm they reabsorb it back into their bodies where the cells are broken down to make new cells for the rest of the body, so by the time a man reaches his 30's he is in fact 90% his own sperm. He's your very own wank tank. Does this mean we should give men a break- No, just be cautious not to buy black bed sheets.
Breaking the news to my student that Christian Grey was not a real person and she would never meet any man that would perform in any of the ways this imaginary character does was heart breaking for her, but that's what teaching is; destroying dreams until they can start being realistic!
Now for gods sake pick up a Charles Dickens book and learn some real literature.
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