This is usually something heard by people who have a friend with benefits where it hasn't gone wrong yet. Friends with benefits is such a strange idea and most probably started by men. Lets face it, who else would invent an idea where you get sex with no emotional ties? If movies have taught us anything it's that friends with benefits doesn't work. There's always someone who gets hurt. People can't help but get emotional because if you're friends you already have an emotional connection. However I guess the good thing is that you have a 100% chance of a good night, you either meet someone or you go to your friends. This is why slut plugs were invented.
Allow me to explain. The Gay has just learnt how female contraception works. Most pills and mainly the implant increase the mucous layer to create a barrier to prevent sperm getting through. Upon hearing this The Gay reaffirmed his being gay and in absolute disgust coined the phrase 'slut plug'.
Slut plugs: allowing sluts everywhere to contract all the S.T.I's apart from pregnancy.
I have had a couple of what I would call casual relationships, both monogamous but not with the added emotions or the meeting of friends or parents. The best thing about these is that they don't complain when you roll over after sex! It's not that I don't like to hug, it's just that I want to sleep without feeling like I'm being spooned by an octopus. I once had a guy who went quite childish when 'snuggled' in bed (I use his term). I'm sure he thought it was an endearing display of affection, perhaps in the morning after coffee this would be true. However laying there red faced after sex talking like a two year old is just wrong. His hairy chest and childish voice made me feel like I had just violated Elmo and been forced to hold him after.
My short fling with sea-monster, whilst displaying David and Goliath like sex episodes at least had the benefit of creating a good barrier between us. Although I do not recommend waking up in the morning feeling like you're being poked in the back with a police baton, he will create his own space to avoid an unfortunate roll-over situation.
My most recent ex felt as though my rolling away for sleep was in-polite. However I maintain it would be ruder to be talking to his face as I justified the reasons I was with him after the inevitable disappointment. If he had just let me have my alone time I might have come up with a few more reasons. In retrospect his inability to let me go when sleeping was a sign of his inability to let me go when I dumped him. It was like he didn't notice he was single.
It's not that I'm an unaffectionate person, I just like my sleep. This is why I'm never going to make a good friend with benefit. From what I understand it's a 50/50 partnership, I expect him to turn up when needed. However if there's a choice between pleasing them or being happy in bed with chocolate, I'm going with the bed.
Selfish? YES!
I'm generally a generous person but there are 3 things that were never meant to share:
Party Rings (it's a very deceptive name)
Fudge Bars
My bed when I'm tired
Deal with it.
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