Insomnia

Well I must apologise for my lack of communication. It's not that nothing has been happening it's just that I have been suffering with one of the worst disorders; insomnia.
There's nothing more likely to make you less articulate than lack of sleep. For months I  struggled to get more than three hours shut eye. I have spent long periods of time walking around like a vegetarian zombie. Zero munching on humans but lots of groaning and slow shuffling walks. Even when I am ridiculously tired the minute my head hits the pillow my brain starts to talk to me. Like so:
"Hi"
"Hi brain"
"I see you've finally dragged yourself away from the wine and meal for one and got into bed"
"Yep nice and comfy"
"well, about that meal for one..."
"I'd much rather sleep"
"It's just a little pathetic don't you think?"
"yes it is, maybe a little sleep would make it better"
"Oh I don't think so. Did you see that advert for elite singles? Oh of course you did the giggle centre went into overdrive"
"hehehehe"
"yes very amusing. Well I was thinking that it wouldn't work for you anyway because there is nothing elite about you"
"..... I'm going to sleep now"
"You have no money"
"I have a jar of pennies"
"All your clothes are knock-offs or primark"
"It's the only place that accepts my jar of pennies"
"Maybe it's the career you've chosen"
"ok I'll quit tomorrow morning, goodnight"
"The problem is, not being in any way elite your chances of getting a well paid job are pretty slim"
"I'll just become a prostitute then"
"Don't be silly you can't even give it away, who's going to pay?"
"I hate you brain"
"I saw that. That hammer is for scary wardrobe clowns only"
"Then I suggest you let me sleep"
"ok"




"Do you think the front room needs a mirror?"


After weeks of these conversations I did what any sane person would do; I borrowed my friends highly powerful sleeping pills.
Friends sympathise when you can't sleep. Best friends knock you out for ten ours.